Late Night Tries to Keep Up With Trump’s Executive Orders

“He froze the federal hiring bill … something about genders … and he said Cuba is a state-sponsored terrorist now? He renamed a mountain … dishwashers are less efficient? What, he can do that?” — RONNY CHIENG

“OK, sure, he pulled out of the W.H.O., but, like, who are those guys? What are the odds there’s ever going to be a pandemic requiring global cooperation?” — RONNY CHIENG, referring to the World Health Organization

“Does it really matter? One year, we’re in; the next year, we’re out. We’ve been doing the hokey pokey with these guys for like 12 years. They don’t even put us in the group chat anymore, OK?” — RONNY CHIENG on Trump withdrawing the United States from the Paris climate accord

“Also, news flash, Paris accord: Yo, we’re not going to reach the emission goals anyway, OK? This world is over! It’s just an excuse to go to Paris, which, uh, overrated?” — RONNY CHIENG