Liam Payne’s Sister Posts Heartbreaking Tribute to Her Late Brother

Liam Payne‘s sister, Ruth Gibbins, posted a heartbreaking and emotional tribute to her late brother, calling him her “best friend” and apologizing for not being able to “save” him.

Taking to Instagram on Saturday, October 19, Gibbins posted a carousel of family photos featuring the late singer, who died at 31 on Wednesday, October 16, and poured out a lengthy series of thoughts and memories of him.

“I don’t believe this is happening,” she wrote. “Many times have I poured my heart out publicly with pride about Liam but never much about life as his sister. Liam is my best friend, no one could ever make me laugh as much as him, doing his impressions always had me creasing and he loved seeing how much of a laugh he could get.”

“He moved out when he was 17 to chase his dream; it’s this that forced me to finally pass my driving test during the X Factor live show weeks because I couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to get to him. I would regularly drive to have tea with him after I finished work, just to sit around. One month, the hotel was rightly a Wagamamas and I swear he had it morning, noon and night,” she recalled. “I used to love picking him up from work when it all started, especially after concerts, speeding us aware from venues or appearances, Liam plugging in his phone to show me the new songs for albums. Liam loved 1D, he loved his brothers and we talked about it so much. He would just play song after song that had been recorded but never used and we’d sit having a mini 1D concert.”

“Liam knew he could call me anytime, any day and I would pick up or that I would always fetch him if he needed to just come home. Our calls would often result in my laughing at his ideas and next adventure, talking through his plans and working through his issues but it would always end with ‘love you miss you’ ‘love you ru.’”

“Liam was born with music in his veins, it was clear from a very young age he just had that quality that would make him a star. I could sit and listen to him sing all day, which is a good job really because he never bloody stopped! I will never tire of the look he gives when showing new songs, ‘listen loud’ he’d say and just drive with pride of his work,” she added. “I keep notes on my phone ‘things to tell liam’ so that if he was away working for a while, I’d know what I needed to update him on. I suppose it’s only right I tell him now.”

Gibbins’ tribute turned introspective on a second slide: “Liam, My brain is struggling to catch up with what’s happening and I don’t understand where you’ve gone,” she wrote. “I just want to drive to your house and walk in to music blasting and find you sat there writing a sing or walk in to your art phases and sit with you whilst you draw or craft.”

“What I love most about you is your ability to make me laugh,” she added. “I never chuckle as much as I do when I’m with you or anyone else. I’m always in awe of your talent, it should be illegal to be so talented and just have the ability to not only be good at things but be bloody great at everything you attempt, without even knowing you’re absolutely smashing it each time.”

“I love your kindness and how proud I am to call you my brother and my best friend. You also make a great Sunday dinner too!I don’t feel this work was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years, you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you. You just wanted to b loved and to make people happy with your music. You never believed you were good enough. I hope you can now see this outpouring of love that you never received in your time,” Gibbins wrote.

“Thank you for changing my life, thank you for the incredible memories, thank you for being the best brother and friend I’ll ever have! We’ll take care of [Payne’s son] Bear and he will always know how incredible his Dad is and how much you idolize him.I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. Love you, oh ho way heart misses you. One last time I need you to know, I’m here if you need anything. I’d drive to the end of the universe to bring you back,” she concluded.

Payne was the youngest of three siblings. He has another older sister, Nicola Payne, who has not addressed his death publicly as of yet.

Police sources confirmed to Us Weekly that all that is known is that Payne “fell,” but “it is not known whether he jumped” or if it was an accidental fall from third floor of CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Argentina.

“We are heartbroken. Liam will forever live in our hearts and we’ll remember him for his kind, funny and brave soul. “We are supporting each other the best we can as a family and ask for privacy and space at this awful time,” Payne’s family said in a statement obtained by BBC following his death.