Jinger Duggar Reveals Inspiration for People Pleaser Book, Past Demons

Jinger Duggar confessed that she’s a “people pleaser” while announcing her new book that focuses on her past demons and newfound “freedom.”

“I realized I was a people pleaser from the time I was a teen,” Duggar, 30, revealed during the Wednesday, September 25, episode of her and husband Jeremy Vuolo’s “The Jinger & Jeremy” podcast.

She recalled being “so concerned about what other people thought about me.” That desire to please others, “It led me down a not-so healthy path of just not wanting to eat that much food because I was afraid of being too fat,” Duggar continued.

“I was so worried about what other people would think if they thought of me in a specific light,” she told her husband, noting that was part of the inspiration of her book People Pleaser: Breaking Free From Imaginary Expectations, which is available for pre-order.

The Counting On alum said she realized her people pleasing tendencies around the time she married Vuolo, 37, in November 2016. Now that she’s a mom — the couple share daughters Felicity, 6, and Evangeline, 3 — Duggar has noticed that it’s easy to go into a shell trying to protect everyone’s feelings while neglecting her own.

“There [is] people pleasing that shows up in everybody’s life, every single day and I think that’s why now is the time to write this book,” she told her listeners. “It’s such a problem and it will always be a problem.”

Duggar noted, “We see it even more with social media. Young people are just constantly comparing themselves to others and trying to have this perfect image.”

The former 19 Kids and Counting star — who gained fame while starring on the TLC reality show with her 18 siblings — teased that the answer to overcoming this issue is not to alienate yourself.

“We need to be in a community. The answer isn’t just to run away from people,” Duggar explained. “[It’s] realizing that we need to have hearts that are focused on who we are made to be in Christ. From that overflow … then we can go and serve other people.”

Vuolo beamed with pride as he applauded his wife for being so open in the new book, which hits bookshelves in January. “You deal with the issues so head on. It’s a really personal way,” he teased.

During the podcast, Duggar also shared a promotional video about the book. She said that her type of people pleasing was “motivated by a fear of rejection” and “disliked” and “not fitting in.”

She confessed that it led her to be “silent when I should’ve spoken” and cower to bullies. “I didn’t want to risk their wrath. I didn’t want their anger turned on me, because I’m a people pleaser,” Duggar said.

The reality star admitted that “the cost of living like this has been high,” noting that some of her friendships and relationships were negatively affected because she was “afraid to mess up.”

Despite feeling trapped for years, Duggar told her fans, “There is freedom from the bondage of people pleasing.” She identified “hope in the promise of Jesus,” sharing she turned to God at the start of her journey.

“I know where we can go for help,” Duggar promised. She added that with her book she hopes it’ll help readers “not feel so alone” and “help you discover the path forward.”

People Pleaser: Breaking Free From Imaginary Expectations comes out on Tuesday, January 14.