Every Joke Nikki Glaser Has Made About the Beauty and Fashion Industry

Nikki Glaser can easily win over a crowd with her jokes — and her sense of style.

Glaser, 40, who is hosting the 2025 Golden Globes on Sunday, January 5, is known to wear mini dresses, platform heels, sparkly ensembles and more while hitting the stage for stand-up acts.

While attending the Golden Globes Red Carpet Rollout on Thursday, January 2, in Beverly Hills, Glaser shined in a custom Off-White suit featuring a crinkled design. Underneath, she sported a black top featuring a cutout over her chest and a bedazzled enclosure.

Besides looking chic, Glaser keeps it real about the beauty and fashion industry in her jokes. From cracking one about wanting an eyebrow lift to feeling pressure to wear makeup at all times, the comedian never fails to make Us laugh.

Keep scrolling to Glaser’s best jokes about beauty and fashion:

Plastic Surgery

“I’m gonna use the money from tonight [and] I’m gonna get a brow lift,” Glaser said in her comedy May 2024 special with Max, Someday You’ll Die. “I know I want this because every time I’m stressed out, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, snatched,’” she said, pulling back her face. “I’ve never felt worse but I’ve never looked better,” she quipped.

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Glaser experienced her very own fashion faux pas while appearing on an episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in May 2021. As she was virtually introduced to the crowd, Glaser opened her arms to say “Hello, Jimmy!” But accidentally broke the top off of her hot pink sparkly blazer.

“My dress just unpopped!” Glaser exclaimed while crossing her arms, covering up. “That was humiliating, let’s keep going,” she said, brushing the incident off.

Glaser later took to Instagram to continue to poke fun at the wardrobe malfunction, writing, “Nippy Glaser flashed everyone on the show and also my friends who were watching on the other side of my computer. I’m 💀.”

Wearing Makeup

“Without makeup, I look way different. I never get recognized. The other day, I was actually recognized without makeup and I got offended,” she said in her Max special. “F— you. You think Nikki Glaser looks like this?”

Glaser later joked about how long it takes women to get ready for an event during her Hollywood Reporter’s annual Women in Entertainment speech in December 2024.

“Can we all just acknowledge the toll glam takes on our schedules?” she said to the crowd. “Did everyone start getting ready while it was still dark outside? In fact, I think this very speech I’m giving right now probably could have been 20 percent better had I not spent most of yesterday getting ready just to feel presentable enough to read it.”

She continued, “It’s hard to write a speech on the same day you have to get a spray tan, do a fitting, get your nails done and bleach your a——.”

“Let’s just remember that this is the part of our job that men don’t really have to do,” she laughed.

Looking Hot

Glaser joked about getting treated differently when she has makeup on during her Someday You’ll Die special. In the episode, she shared a hilarious story about getting free groceries at Trader Joes after a cashier flirted with her when she looked “hot.”

Messy Updos

“The only safe style for a woman now is when you wear your hair up in a high ponytail,” Glaser quipped while doing standup in June 2023. “Don’t you dare take that from us.”

She also joked that men “own buns” now, and she can’t wear her hair in an updo without it becoming a “man bun.”

“You guys have stolen the most fun, easy style from us. I can’t wear my hair in a bun.”

Rewearing Clothes

Glaser looked colorful in a floral one-shoulder minidress while performing in Florida in January 2024.

“I recycled an @fboyisland dress for you and then I showed up to the show and you all had stylish black blazers and bootcut jeans. I got had!” She captioned an Instagram post at the time.