Bachelor Grant Ellis on How He Ended Up So Torn Between His Final 2 (Excl)

He couldn’t have gotten a tribal tattoo like every other guy? No, the most telling sign that Grant Ellis wouldn’t follow the usual trajectory as the Bachelor was the “lone wolf” inked on his forearm: “It symbolizes being alone,” he explained — and it’s about as far as you can get from a Neil Lane diamond. But somehow, in season 29, multiple love stories have unfolded for the 31-year-old basketball pro turned day trader. And on the eve of hometown dates, Us looks ahead to the blockbuster finale teased in the trailer, where it appears he is so torn between his last two contestants that he’s still unsure one hour before cameras roll on his final rose ceremony.

The sincere and sometimes silly Ellis, who first appeared on Jenn Tran’s season of The Bachelorette in summer 2024, faced the ultimate decision, which he describes to Us as not the hardest but “the most important” of his life. The dilemma: Go with what his head was telling him … or what his heart was feeling?

“When you intertwine logic and emotion, it’s really tough,” Ellis says. “I think you have to blend a little logic with a little emotion and ask, ‘What’s good for me?’ and ‘What feels right to me?’ Finding that middle ground is challenging, but it’s where you have to start.”

No matter where it ends, Ellis says the experience has been transformative. “Now I’m in a position where I don’t have to be lonely anymore,” he says. “I think that’s a love story in itself.” Here, in a telling discussion with Us, the Bachelor reflects on that emotional moment of truth, how he got there and what’s next.

Prior to this process, did you believe someone could be in love with more than one person at the same time?
I didn’t think it was possible, but it is. You probably should avoid it, though. [Laughs.]

You didn’t: You fell for multiple women.
Definitely. And at the end,
making the decision that 
was best for me was something I really had to consider.

Obviously this is not normal, but it’s the show format. Did you worry about leading any of the women on while trying to find your match?
It’s very hard in this role when you develop feelings and then tell people how you feel. You’re honest and sincere, and you try not to hold back — because that’s the way you find your person — but it’s easy to be villainized because you don’t want to lead anybody on. A man dating multiple women is already at a disadvantage. You just have to be careful and see where the cards fall.

Speaking of careful, how did you approach saying the L-word — or not?
My plan was to go in and lead with my heart. I know I’m a pretty sound thinker and I use logic, but emotions are a different thing.

Was guilt a problem for you?
I don’t think I felt guilty in the sense of developing feelings. I felt guilty for letting somebody down. It’s not every day you fall for more than one person. But there’s
always gonna be a stronger feeling for [one of them].

Looking back to when you were growing up, what did your mom, Renee, teach you about love? She’s enough of a believer that she signed you up for The Bachelorette in the first place!
What I learned from her relationship [with my dad, Robert] was that love is a choice, but you have to know when enough is enough. Love has to be reciprocated.

It’s been inspiring to see the way you’ve mended your relationship with your father, who struggled with substance abuse and addiction and was absent from your life for a long time.
When you’re a kid, you think your parents could do no wrong. But then you grow up and you start to realize they’re human, they make mistakes, they need to learn and grow. I’m proud of my dad and where he’s at. Throughout the course of the season, you see my relationship with my father come into play. [At the very end], he comes back and gives me some really solid advice — that’s something I’ve been looking for my whole life, and it’s something that helped me get over the edge to make my decision He’s able to come back in my life and help me when I need it the most.

Sounds like The Bachelor boosted your mental health in some ways. You’ve been candid about your loneliness and finding solace in basketball — “just me and the net.” Is that feeling gone for good?
Yeah, being on the show really helped me talk about things that plagued me in the past. As the season progresses, you see how this show was like a big therapy session for me. Aside from me going on there trying to find love, it helped me understand my feelings and my trauma and really open up.

What was your biggest fear going in?
Being in a situation where I didn’t make the right decision or my judgment wasn’t what I thought it was. That’s scary. But I stuck to my guns, stuck to myself, and I think everything played out well.

In general, what do you think the qualities are that make a good Bachelor?
Patience and understanding. You have to have a level head because certain things will happen throughout the journey that you can’t predict and that you have no say over. You have to be able to sit back and figure out the best move to make at that moment□.□

What are your non-negotiables in a spouse?
No. 1 is just somebody who’s not too self-absorbed. I want somebody who cares for people and who has a good heart. And I feel like that makes a really good partner because when I come home from work, I’m gonna cook for you and I’m gonna do certain things, but I also want you to think about me, too. The relationship has to be a balance of both.

No shade, but were you worried about trying to find someone in the Bachelor world who wasn’t going to be a little self-absorbed?
Honestly, I wasn’t. I think that I’m a pretty good judge of character. And as long 
as we have a foundation, 
we could always learn and grow together.

Fans have also seen you sing, rap and play piano on the series. Is showing that side of you a way to express your vulnerability — and are you surprised at the criticism that’s been hurled at you?
Creativity helps get rid of stress and depression. But it is vulnerable. I didn’t expect the backlash I was gonna receive. I’m not trying to be a musician. I just like to have fun.

In this franchise, we often see Bachelors and Bachelorettes get overwhelmed, and some even threaten to walk away. Was there ever part of you that wanted to quit?
I didn’t have a moment like that. I know that’s not the most exciting thing, but I knew the situation I was in and I wasn’t gonna back out. I wanted to see it through. I had strong connections and great women — I really didn’t have any doubt.

The Bachelorette has been put on a “pause” of sorts and won’t be airing this summer. What was your reaction to that?
It’s disheartening, but if it’s happening, there’s a reason for it. And I’m sure that whoever’s making these decisions definitely has a greater good in mind.

Who from your season would make a good Bachelorette down the line?
All the women in this season were amazing. Alexe, Chloie, Bailey, Alicia —they were all wonderful. They all had outgoing personalities.

Chloie got some love on social media for being gone too soon.
Chloie got a lot of love and I think it’s really important to show that diversity. Chloie was somebody who had one of the best personalities and had the best outlook on life that I had seen in a while.

Bachelor in Paradise will be back. Will you be watching and can we ask you to play cupid and put together any potential couples from Jenn’s season and your season?
I’m going to watch and I’m going to have some popcorn and, maybe, a nice margarita. I think that Alexe and Hakeem have the same personality. I don’t know what attraction level they have to each other, but I think personality wise, they’re similar. I also think Alicia and Spencer would be good.

For you, hometown dates are next, on March 3. If you had to give a percentage, how certain were you going in that you had found your wife?
I, honestly, was 100 percent sure because that’s what I came there for. I knew I was going to make things work.

That’s confident, Grant.
I’m a pretty confident guy.

Did you have an objective when meeting these families?
It’s really important when you’re married or with somebody to get along with their family — to fit in and to be a unit. That was the goal: seeing the dynamic. □

Any concerns at this stage? Protective fathers can be intimidating!
I wouldn’t say I was intimidated, but I wanted everything to go so well. I was worried the family wouldn’t like me or there would be a situation where things were awkward. All the families were great. I bonded with some more than others, but I had fun all around.

Let’s talk about your connections with your final four. Tell me about Zoe.
Her boldness was something that was interesting. She really was there to put herself out there and I saw that. Then getting to know her story, I could really relate to her.

What stood out about Juliana?
From night one, we really connected over our love of playing the piano. We always had that physical chemistry, and then we started to really develop an emotional connection. Every relationship was different, but that was a relationship that really developed over time.

She didn’t get a one-on-one date until the week before hometowns. How did you make other moments count?
Group dates are always difficult. It’s really awkward. It’s not every day [in real life that] you’re going on a group date. But you make eye contact, check in and make sure you let the person know that you gave them reassurance that you’re thinking about them — and hopefully your words don’t get misinterpreted.

Tell me about Dina.
Dina was really independent and really strong. It was a newfound relationship for me and I was really intrigued by that dynamic because I had never had that before. It opened my perspective a lot. Our relationship really progressed over time. She was really type A and very organized, but she also had a deeper side to her. Time really was the overall factor in that relationship.

Litia rounds out the group.
We connected emotionally and were attracted to each other. Going into hometowns, I was just trying to see what the dynamic would be like with the family.

Litia is Mormon and you are Christian, were there any concerns about your different religions?
I wouldn’t consider myself a super religious person, but I do have faith. [Litia being Mormon] didn’t make a difference as long as the root was there. When things get tough, you have to rely on that belief because life throws curveballs at you.

Jumping ahead to the finale: The trailer shows you undecided in the Dominican Republic as you tell your father you basically have 60 minutes left on the clock.
It definitely wasn’t one hour. There were external factors that played into me being hesitant. You don’t wanna hurt people. You have a lot of weight in terms of being a lead of a different ethnic group. There’s a different level of pressure that comes with being a man of color in this role — and a different expectation. It leads to some added thinking that deserves a little extra time. There were some things that really weighed and were hard for me. But ultimately, you go with what makes you happy and you go with what you feel is gonna be the best decision for your future.

You mention the pressure that affected you as a Black Bachelor. Matt James was the first, in 2021, and now you’re the second. What does that distinction mean to you?
To me, being the second Black Bachelor means giving a voice to people that might not typically watch this franchise. They might see me and resonate with the way I speak or some little things that I say. Sometimes in culture, it’s not looked at as cool to be really smart. I want people to see that and be like, “OK, you could be a Black man and you can take your education seriously.” I just want to be a role model.

What excites me is people seeing my story — my life struggle, everything I’ve been through that led me to be the man that I am. I lived in Newark, N.J., which is a really tough neighborhood. I think that with the right discipline, the right family, you could grow up and be somebody who’s articulate, educated, and you could really make strides.

With so much riding on the outcome, were you worried in the moment about second-guessing yourself?
Getting there is one thing. Making the decision and saying it is another thing. And having to live with the consequences of hurting somebody — I’ve been through it, and I know what it feels like — is a third. But I never doubted myself. I knew the connections that I had. [Those] external factors really caused me to sit and think because America’s watching. It’s not just me making a decision in my bedroom by myself.

What about the time since that very last rose ceremony. Have you done any second-guessing since then?
I don’t live with regret. I’m very happy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I could rewind time, I would make the same decision.

What does your future hold? Would you like to start a family?
I want two kids, preferably a boy and a girl. But if I have two girls or two boys, it doesn’t matter.

Would you consider leaving Houston?
If things play out the way they should, I’ll do whatever is gonna make us happy, whether that’s me moving or us traveling or us getting another piece of property. I’m willing to go that distance.