The Bachelorette’s DeAnna Pappas Reflects on ‘Torturous’ Year

The Bachelorette alum DeAnna Pappas is ready to turn the page after a bumpy 2025.

“My birthday was in November, and with the closing of 2025, I would like for it to just be done,” Pappas, 44, shared on the Wednesday, December 3, episode of iHeartRadio’s “misSPELLING” podcast. “Bring on a new year, wash me clean, make me new. It can’t get worse than what it was.”

In the past 12 months, Pappas made headlines for her ongoing custody battle with ex Stephen Stagliano. The pair — who share two children — split in January 2023 after 11 years of marriage. A judge ultimately granted Pappas’ plea in regard to custody.

Since then, Pappas has continued to focus on being the best mom to her children while also exploring the dating world.

“I do think that 2026 just has to be a better year,” the star of iHeartRadio’s “Famously Available” podcast shared with Tori Spelling. “Not just for myself but for a lot of people.”

Keep reading to hear what Pappas said about life after divorce, dating in the public eye and her confusion over why so many men are sending NSFW pictures.

DeAnna Pappas’ Grief After Divorce

After the end of her marriage, Pappas said she experienced a sadness that felt like death.

“It is a death. I have said that over and over again. It is a true grieving process,” she explained. “I really rode every wave of that grief. I really wanted to take that closure of that relationship and grieve it and put it to bed. I didn’t want those things to resurface later in my life or in another relationship, or worst of all, for my children. I want my children to know what healthy, loving relationships look like. That’s what I want for them.”

 DeAnna Pappas’ Hope for a Better Tomorrow 

The former reality star admitted to being a glass half-empty person. In recent months, however, Pappas said she has been working on seeing the positive in every situation.

“If we are talking about divorces, ex-husbands, the torturous 2025 that I know I’ve experienced, then that’s what we’re going to get,” she explained. “I’m done putting that out. I want better than that. I want a better life. I want a better life for my children. I want better relationships. I want better friendships. I just want better.”

DeAnna Pappas’ Realization About Dating Apps

Now that she is single, Pappas has one major question about what some guys tend to do on various dating apps.

“All they want to do is send you pictures of their penis. It’s very terrifying,” she joked. “It is just the time period that we’re in where everyone lives on their phones and social media? You talk to someone for a week and then it’s like, ‘Oh, send me a dirty picture.’ I’m just not that girl.”

DeAnna Pappas’ Dating Dilemmas

These days, Pappas said she doesn’t get approached by men out in public, such as a supermarket or store.

When she is able to connect with a bachelor, she sometimes finds herself surprised by their lack of communication skills.

“Dating is like an experiment, because it is shocking to me how many people do not know how to have [a] conversation — to speak to someone, ask them a question, actively listen and ask a follow-up question,” she told Spelling. “I can’t tell you how many dates I walked away from and thought, ‘That guy knows nothing about me.’ They never asked me a single question outside of, ‘Oh your name is?’ Communication and reciprocation is so very important.”

DeAnna Pappas’ Views on 1 Great Love

During her latest podcast interview, Pappas debated whether every individual has more than one true love out in the world.

“You take two people and you expect two individuals with two thoughts, two upbringings, two different backgrounds and expect them to see eye to eye on everything,” she shared. “That’s a huge expectation, and we as humans, we tend to put our expectations on other people. I know I do.”

Pappas said she’s had the pleasure of “loving a few men in my life.”

“I’m really grateful for those experiences,” she said, “and the love and the gratitude that I’ve taken from each relationship.”