Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Why Matt James Ended Their Relationship

Rachael Kirkconnell has offered some insight the reason for her split from Matt James.

“He said that at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” Kirkconnell, 28, shared during her “Call Her Daddy” podcast appearance, which premiered on Tuesday, January 28. “At the end of the day, there are things that we aren’t compatible with and the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing. It was just one of those things where he, I think, just had this realization that ‘I should want to propose to you by this time. Like, at this point in our relationship, I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I’m not still, I still don’t feel like we’re ready or I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can’t actually see myself married to you.’”

Kirkconnell recalled James saying that “one day” he would get to the point of a proposal, but didn’t feel ready.

“I told him, I said, ‘Well, I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready. And if you don’t then that’s not a good thing. We probably shouldn’t be together if you don’t feel like that after four years because you know me better than anyone. I know you better than anyone, so you should know by now if you see this for the long haul or not,’” she continued, noting that James “didn’t think” she was his “perfect person.”

“He just didn’t want me to end up resenting him by wasting more of my time if it wouldn’t happen,” Kirkconnell added. “He just said, you know, ‘You’re beautiful, smart and funny and you’ll find, you’ll find someone, you’ll find a guy that will love you for you.’ He just didn’t think that it was him. It was just a lot to hear at once because a few days before, you know, I’m hearing the opposite.”

Hours before her “Call Her Daddy” interview dropped, Kirkconnell was stopped at an airport and briefly addressed her split from James, 33, for the first time.

“It’s nothing that you can prepare for. So, you just take it one day at a time,” she said in the video posted via the Instagram gossip account Deux Moi on Tuesday. “I think things will start to come out.”

Kirkconnell said that she had plans to speak about the split “whenever I’m ready,” which appeared to be when she was sitting across from “Call Her Daddy” podcast host Alex Cooper.

“For now, I’m just protecting my peace,” she added at the time. (Kirkconnell also denied that infidelity was the reason for their split, before noting that there was no chance for a reconciliation in the future.)

James blindsided Bachelor Nation earlier this month when announcing that he and Kirkconnell had split after four years together. (Kirkconnell said during Tuesday’s “Call Her Daddy” appearance that he posted the announcement “a few hours” after breaking up with her.)

“Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding,” he wrote on January 16. “Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord.”

James shared a photo of himself and Kirkconnell from his Bachelor season, which aired in 2021, along with the breakup announcement. (The former pair left the season together but broke up before the finale aired in March 2021 due to Kirkconnell’s past racially insensitive social media activity. They reconciled shortly thereafter.)

“The split may seem abrupt, but this has been brewing for a while. It was a long time coming,” a source told Us Weekly exclusively following their breakup news. “Matt just couldn’t commit to her.”

The same source noted that it was “hard” for Kirkconnell to “trust” James.

“Rachael really wanted to get married and settle down and they were not on the same page,” the insider added. “She felt like she was waiting around, and he would never give her what she wanted.”