Justin Baldoni Had a ‘Near Breakdown’ While Filming It Ends With Us

Justin Baldoni opened up about his struggles while filming It Ends With Us.

“It’s a very strange place to be, let alone directing while trying to play a character who does the things that Ryle does in the movie so there were moments in the filming of this where I would just have to leave,” Baldoni, 40, said on the Wednesday, December 4, episode of Elizabeth Day’s “How to Fail” podcast. “I’d have to remove myself and go shake it out.”

Baldoni directed and starred in the film adaption of Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novel of the same name. Blake Lively played main character Lily Bloom while Baldoni portrayed her husband and the film’s antagonist, Ryle. It Ends With Us features a central theme of domestic violence, and Baldoni confessed that he had moments on set where being in character was emotionally overwhelming.

“I’ve done a lot of somatic therapy so there were times when I was actually just shaking. There’s a moment in the movie where Ryle finds Lily’s phone and he finds a phone number and he’s very jealous and he’s heartbroken,” he recalled. “And he’s angry and he doesn’t harm her but you can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I had a near breakdown.”

Baldoni shared that he had to “leave” the set so he could “cry and shake” to let out all the “pain” he felt.

“What’s hard about a character like that isn’t necessarily what he does,” the actor said. “What he does is a result of what he has kept in and so what’s hard about having that in your body is having the trauma live in your body of what he’s experienced or creating that trauma in your body and creating that insecurity and the pain and the feeling that you shouldn’t actually be alive.”

While Baldoni was able to eventually move on from playing Ryle, it was initially hard to get out of that mindset.

“That was very hard and that took a few months,” he said. “I had dreams as [Ryle] for a while, and it lived in my body but I think for the most part, he’s out.”

In addition to taking on the tolling role, Baldoni also had extra responsibilities on set as director, which he claimed was a “very lonely job.”

“Because you are kind of at the top of this totem pole,” he said. “In your moments of quiet, everybody has a thousand questions for you and also nobody wants to disturb you and you don’t really have many people to talk to and you can’t necessarily share your anxiety or your nervousness about something because you’re also the leader.”

It Ends With Us premiered in August and controversy followed. Rumors swirled that there was tension between Baldoni and Lively, 37, as the pair did not promote the movie together.

A source exclusively told Us Weekly in August that “there were two camps on the film — team Blake and team Justin.” According to the insider, Lively and Baldoni’s “creative struggle set the tone of the negative experience behind the scenes and grew into them not speaking anymore.” The source added that Lively gave “input” in order to “create the best film possible and honor the book” which made Baldoni “feel that his vision wasn’t as important.”

There was also controversy surrounding the duo’s approach to how they promoted the film. During Baldoni’s interviews, he spoke about the film’s dark themes. Meanwhile, Lively, who was also an executive producer, received criticism online for not diving deeper into the serious message. (The Gossip Girl alum later shared domestic violence resources on her social media following the premiere.)

Despite having serious subject matters, It Ends With Us did not utilize a trigger warning for its audience. Baldoni revealed on Wednesday that he wanted the movie to include it but the idea was shot down.

“I just didn’t want to retraumatize the majority of my audience which is why I was advocating for a trigger warning at the front and things like that,” Baldoni told Day. “But those are certain battles you can’t always win.”