Inside Menendez Brothers’ Prison Lives: Restrictions, No Conjugal Visits

Erik Menéndez and Lyle Menéndez are looking forward to a new hearing in their murder case — but what do their lives currently look like in prison?

The brothers were arrested in 1990 on two counts of first-degree murder after their parents — José and Kitty — were found shot to death in their home. Lyle was 21 and Erik was 18 at the time of the murders and after two trials, they were sentenced to life without parole. Lyle and Erik have maintained that their mother and father were physically, emotionally and sexually abusive ahead of their deaths.

While initially remaining in the same prison, Erik and Lyle were transferred after their sentencing. They reunited in 2018 when they were moved into the same housing unit at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility.

Their case received renewed support in September 2024 after becoming the focus of Ryan Murphy‘s Monsters series. Despite Erik publicly slamming the scripted show, he met with Cooper Koch, who played him on screen.

“They’ve done so much amazing work in prison. Erik teaches meditation. He teaches speech classes. They’re both incredible people,” Koch told The Hollywood Reporter in September 2024. “I think back then, people just didn’t believe that sexual abuse between males was something that you could believe and the easier pill to swallow was that they killed their parents for money. But now, after so much time, I think people are more open to understanding that something like that did happen.”

Koch added: “In fact, the warden told me himself that he feels like he’d be happy to have them as his neighbors and that he would be comfortable letting them watch his children. I think that says a lot!”

With support from Koch — and reality-star-turned-prison-reform-activist Kim Kardashian — Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascón announced in October 2024 that a hearing has been set due to new evidence.

Keep scrolling for insight into Erik and Lyle’s day-to-day lives in prison:

Past Issues

Erik reflected on his adjustment to life behind bars, telling People in 2005, “The cell I live in is tiny … about 6′ by 4′. Two people live in the cell. The cell is so small that only one person can be up off the bunks at a time. There is a commode and a sink.”

It was hard for him to adjust to the “violent noises” in prison.

“It is very difficult to live with. It always affects you. And you have to keep to your own business,” he noted. “There might be 300 to 400 people in the yard at a time and at any moment a fight could break out. In the past month, two inmates have been murdered. You have to stay away from the yard bullies.”

Erik revealed he was bullied when he was initially sentenced. “You have to stand up to them, but at the same time you have to be extremely respectful. You have to know how to apologize. After 15 years, I’ve learned the lingo on how to be a prisoner,” he continued. “I have gotten into fights … many fights. But I never fight first. You have to learn to be smart. There is a perpetual state of fear that exists as background noise. You always have to be aware of who is around you. You have to continually hone your survival instincts.”

He concluded: “The two things that make prison so awful are the level of violence and the lack of hope and love. What the prison can do to us terrifies me.”

Current Examples of Improvement

In a statement to Biography.com in September 2024, the California Department of Corrections & Rehabilitation offered an update on Erik and Lyle’s behavior, writing, “During his incarceration, Erik Menendez has incurred two serious rules violations. Joseph [Lyle] Menendez has incurred no rules violations.”

Erik and Lyle’s good behavior paved the way for them to live in a “non-designated programming facility” at Donovan. The unit is known as Echo Yard, which allows inmates more freedom, rehabilitative and educational programming. Those opportunities include yoga, art classes and more.

In a rare interview, Erik gave an example of his day-to-day schedule, telling People in 2005 again, “I get up at 6 a.m. At 6:20 I have breakfast. I meditate at 6:50. Starting at 7:30 I read and write in my journal. We’ll either have a morning yard time starting at 9:30 or an afternoon yard time starting at 2:00 p.m. At two o’clock I start my job. I will try and call [wife] Tammi [Menéndez] in the afternoon. I’ll then work until 8:00 p.m. At 9:00 p.m. we’re locked down. I generally go to sleep around 10:30 p.m.”

Rules for Contacting Loved Ones

The brothers are categorized as Group A prisoners, which allows them most privileges that come with receiving visits and to make calls. Laws have been passed in recent years that made telephone calls free for inmates and their families.

In 2021, California started to provide prisoners with tablets. It took two years for Donovan inmates to take advantage of the opportunity and it is important to note that the devices don’t have access to social media or internet browsers. The tablets are largely used to read news materials and stay in contact with loved ones through email, video calls and text messages.

Potential Extracurriculars

Echo Yard is considered an experimental part of the prison that is less restrictive. The unit operates outside of “normal prison rules,” according to reporting from the San Diego Union-Tribune. Echo Yard allows inmates to take part in creative programs, education and support groups for people with anger management or substance abuse issues.

The prisoners can take courses such as victim awareness, money management and job hunting strategies. There is a yoga program, which allows prisons to earn a 10-day reduction in their sentence for every 52 hours of program participation. Rehabilitative Achievement Credits could offer inmates as much as 40 days taken off their sentences annually.

Donovan has a prisoner-published monthly newspaper and art classes as well. Lyle and Erik have notably taken advantage of Project Paint when they helped paint a 1,000-foot long mural at Echo Yard in 2020.

Elsewhere at Echo Yard, inmates can help raise service dogs and future guide dogs. Donovan also held a graduation ceremony for the first time in 2024 after nearly two dozen inmates received degrees through Inspiring Futures Through Educational Degrees.

Restrictions on Conjugal Visits

Erik has been married to wife Tammi since 1999 after they met via letter correspondences. Lyle, meanwhile, exchanged vows with Anna Eriksson in 1996 but they divorced five years later. He later found love with Rebecca Sneed and they got married in 2003.

Prisons in California permit conjugal visits but prisons serving life sentences without parole are banned from such privileges. The law was changed in 2016 but since Erik and Lyle committed a violent offense against a family member, they still aren’t eligible for the family visits.

“Not having sex in my life is difficult, but it’s not a problem for me. I have to be emotionally attached, and I’m emotionally attached to Erik,” Tammi told People in 2005. “My family does not understand. When it started to get serious, some of them just threw up their hands.”

Lyle also offered a glimpse into this marriage to Rebecca, telling the outlet in 2017, “Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events.”

He concluded: “We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”