Gwyneth Paltrow Ski Trial Becomes Stage Musical in London

If you’re looking for something a bit off-piste — especially for theater lovers — Gwyneth Paltrow‘s got ya covered … her ski crash lawsuit and trial is getting the musical treatment!

Hold on to your knitted hats, because “Gwyneth Goes Skiing” is making its grand debut on London’s famed West End this December, and, yes, it centers on the infamous 8-day court case that took place earlier this year.

Theater actor Linus Karp will transform into the Goop founder while Joseph Martin will take on the role of 76-year-old retired optometrist Dr. Terry Sanderson.

Remember, Sanderson slapped Gwyneth with the lawsuit in 2019 … claiming she collided with him while skiing at Deer Valley Resort in 2016, and leaving him with a concussion, broken ribs and brain damage.

Gwyneth retaliated in court, claiming she initially thought she was the victim of sexual assault during the downhill disaster, insisting he came up from behind and his skis went in between her legs.

With social media hanging on to the opponent’s every word, things took a hilariously out-of-touch turn as Gwyneth lamented losing half a day of skiing during the expensive getaway … instead opting to go for a massage later that day. It’s a tough life.

In further viral accounts, both parties painted contrasting pictures of how the accident impacted their lives … before the “Sliding Doors” star emerged victorious and was awarded what she sought in her countersuit — $1.

She then calmly walked out of the courtroom … but not before icily whispering to Sanderson … “I wish you well.” That’s gonna play well on stage!

With the case drawing massive interest at the time, it’s only fitting that it’s been given a fresh lease on life in musical form.

The synopsis reads: “She’s the Goop-founding, Door-Sliding, Shakespeare-In-Loving, consciously-uncoupling Hollywood superstar. He’s a retired Optometrist from Utah. In 2016, they went skiing. On the slopes of Deer Valley, their worlds collided, and so did they – literally. Ouch. Seven years later in 2023, they went to court. Double ouch. This is their story. Kind of. Not really. But also, it’s at Christmas.”

The show will run from December 13 to 23 at Pleasance London Main House Cabaret — with the production given a camp makeover with original music from Leland — the singer behind “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and “Cher’s Christmas”.